Toy care week: clean it, store it, keep it body-safe.

The xdipx Notebook

Welcome to The Notebook

Things worth knowing. Things worth trying. Things Emma dug up so you don't have to.

Add xdipx as a preferred source on Google →
AllCare and StorageComparisonsFor the BeginnersGuidesPodcast NotesReal TalkWellness BasicsGlossarySearch
The Tantus Acute Curved Dildo 5.5 in. Medium-Firm, an emerald green silicone piece, lying on a coral paper card over a white paper ground in warm daylight, a brass tailor tape measure uncoiling beside it and a small plum paper swatch to one side.
Guides9 min

What Size Dildo Should You Actually Start With?

Shop on diameter first and insertable length second, and never on the number in the product name. Here is how to convert a listing's measurements into something your body can predict before you buy.

EmmaSep 21
A couple in soft loungewear sit close together in warm morning light, one holding the Adjustable-Fit We-Vibe Vector+ prostate massager, the other holding its remote control, sharing a playful, anticipatory smile.
Guides9 min

How Do Couples Use a Prostate Massager Together?

One of you receives and reports back. The other owns the angle, the speed, and the remote. Here is how couples run a prostate session together, what to buy for two people, and the safety rules that are not up for negotiation.

EmmaSep 20
The ROMP Rose 2.0 Pleasure Air clitoral stimulator in bright fuchsia silicone, standing on white paper in warm daylight with a whole lemon resting behind it so the two shapes rhyme.
Guides7 min

Why Are So Many Suction Toys Shaped Like Fruit?

Roses, lemons, peaches. The shape is a moderation workaround and a nightstand disguise, and the mechanism underneath is the same sealed chamber every time. What to judge an air pulse toy on instead, and three that are honest about it.

EmmaSep 19
Diego holds a folded black satin Sex & Mischief blindfold out at arm's length, eyebrows raised and caught mid-sentence, working up the nerve to tell his partner about a fantasy.
Real Talk11 min

How Do You Tell Your Partner About a Fantasy?

A fantasy is a scenario that works in your head, and wanting to do it is a separate question. Say which of the two you are raising in the first sentence, find the one ingredient underneath the scene, and take the smallest honest version of it first.

EmmaSep 18
Sofia holds up the wearable We-Vibe Sync Go in turquoise at eye level, brow furrowed mid-question, wondering aloud why she is always the one who reaches first.
Podcast Notes9 min

Why Am I Always the One Who Initiates Sex? What Two Therapists Call the Pursuer Role

Being the one who asks more is not a flaw. Notes on Foreplay Radio 561, where two therapists separate healthy pursuit from the rejection anxiety riding on top of it.

EmmaSep 17
The SKYN Elite ultra-thin polyisoprene condoms box stands boldly on a warm coral backdrop, the material this guide recommends reaching for first.
Guides10 min

Which Non-Latex Condom Material Should You Use?

Polyisoprene feels closest to latex and protects the same way. Oil based lubricant breaks polyisoprene down and leaves polyurethane alone. Lambskin stops sperm while letting infection through. Here is how the four non-latex materials actually differ, and which lube goes with each.

EmmaSep 16
Marcus holds up Curiosity Cues, VUSH's Conversation Cards for Couples 50-Card Deck, at eye level with brows raised and eyes wide, his free hand open in a small shrug, silently asking whether reaching for the same routine again means something is wrong, in warm daylight against a plain white wall.
Real Talk10 min

How Do You Get Out of a Sexual Rut in a Long Relationship?

Cleveland Clinic's list of what lowers sex drive names relationship strain, stress, health conditions and medications, and never mentions monotony. So a rut is habituation to a fixed sequence, the two changes that matter most cost nothing, and the flatness belongs to a doctor when it holds steady no matter what the week looks like.

EmmaSep 15
The Vibrating Prostate Play Onyx Massager standing upright on white paper, its curved matte black tip, ridged shaft and broad anchor arm all in full view, framed by a coral paper arch that echoes the curve, in warm daylight.
Guides10 min

What Is the P-Spot, and What Kind of Toy Reaches It?

The P-spot is the prostate, and it sits close enough to the rectum's front wall to feel steady pressure through it. What the gland is, why the curve matters more than the length, the three features a prostate toy has to have, and which of the three shapes to start with.

EmmaSep 14
The Lovense Lush 3 Bluetooth remote-controlled egg vibrator, a lavender silicone egg with a coral loop tail, resting alone on white paper in warm daylight, a smartphone left deliberately out of focus in the background against a coral-to-plum gradient wall, its screen a soft blurred glow with no visible app or text, standing in for the phone app this "AI" toy actually runs on.
Comparisons9 min

AI "Companion" Toys vs What You Can Actually Buy Today

AI on a sex toy names a software feature inside the phone app: a pattern generator, a chat layer, or a mode that maps sound onto the motor. The hardware you are buying underneath it is an app-controlled vibrator. Choose for the app control.

EmmaSep 13
The ROMP Rose 2.0 pleasure air clitoral stimulator, a magenta silicone rose resting on white paper against a soft plum backdrop with a sheer plum ribbon curling away behind it in warm raking light, illustrating this guide to how often is normal and how many toys is too many.
Wellness Basics10 min

Is It Normal to Masturbate Daily or Own Several Toys?

Daily is normal, and so is a drawer holding four things. The health libraries publish no frequency at all, and the test they use in its place is about your life rather than your arithmetic.

EmmaSep 12
Jade holds the Lush 3 egg vibrator out in both hands and looks down at it, brows drawn, weighing whether something this small can carry a relationship across a distance, in warm window daylight against a plain white wall.
Real Talk10 min

How Do Couples Stay Intimate Long Distance?

A scheduled video call is a bad delivery mechanism for desire. Here is what the distance is actually doing, and the four habits that hold a long separation together.

EmmaSep 11
Priya holds a bottle of Sliquid Massage Oil Unscented, a natural nut and seed blend in a 4.2oz bottle, turned to its plain copper-banded back at her chest with one hand, her free hand raised in a small shrug, brows lifted in the pause after asking a question about reaching for a partner without it feeling like pressure.
Podcast Notes11 min

How Do You Initiate Sex Without It Feeling Like Pressure?

Initiating sex turns into a test when a no costs something. Notes on Sex With Emily's five-step guide to initiation, and the one step everything else rests on.

EmmaSep 10

Series worth following

Field Notes

FIELD NOTES · 2 PARTS

Field Notes

← Previous123456789Next →

The Notebook, in your inbox.

One send, once-ish a week. Only the ones worth reading. Unsubscribe anytime, we're not needy.