The xdipx Notebook

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Things worth knowing. Things worth trying. Things Emma dug up so you don't have to.

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A man in his 30s with dark hair, in a plain white t-shirt, sits on the edge of a plainly made bed in bright window light, holding a bottle of Intimate Earth Naked Fragrance-Free Aromatherapy Massage Oil 4oz loosely in one hand at chest height, eyes lowered to it, his other hand open and empty on his thigh, a quiet bewildered tenderness on his face as he works out what has changed between two people

When Sexual Trauma Surfaces Years Into a Relationship

Some trauma symptoms arrive early. Some arrive years later, and there is a clinical name for those. Notes on Brave Love, Great Sex 565, from its published show notes and transcript, plus what the CDC reports on how common this is.

Emma

The Womanizer Next clitoral stimulator leaning against a coral paper sweep on a white paper ground in bright daylight, its curved matte black body and single grey accent band in crisp focus, the recessed soft-rimmed opening at its base turned toward the camera

Guides8 min

Is a Tongue Vibrator Really Different From a Suction Toy?

Yes, and the difference is what the brand says is moving. One family is named for changing air pressure. The other puts a tip against your skin. Here is how to read a listing when the words on it are doing the selling.

EmmaOct 28

A woman in her late 20s with long dark hair, in a plain grey crew-neck top, holds up a turquoise Vedo Eeny Rechargeable Extra Mini Wand in her fingertips beside her face, head tilted and brow raised as she studies it, her other hand open and empty, asking whether it is time to throw away a sex toy, in bright window light

Real Talk9 min

How Do You Know When to Throw Away a Sex Toy?

A toy is finished when its surface has changed and washing no longer brings it back: tacky after it is clean and dry, cracked, or still holding a smell. Condition decides that, and no date on a calendar does. Porous toys are their own case, because they never wash fully clean.

EmmaOct 27

All Care and Storage Comparisons For the Beginners Guides Podcast Notes Real Talk Wellness BasicsGlossary Search106 posts

JO Refresh foaming toy cleaner bottle standing upright on a white surface in warm daylight, with a soft cloud of foam and clear water droplets beside it and a sage leaf sprig behind

Guides9 min

Do You Need a Sex Toy Cleaner, or Is Soap and Water Enough?

Plain warm water and a gentle unscented soap cleans every nonporous toy. A dedicated cleaner is worth the money in four situations: a motorized toy you cannot rinse, scent sensitivity, speed between partners, and travel.

EmmaOct 26

Velboa Sex & Mischief Beginner's Handcuffs Black, a pair of plush-lined black cuffs with flat woven straps and bright metal rings and a swivel clasp, lying open and large on a pale lilac surface in hard morning light, a flat coral-pink block standing behind them and a crisp diagonal shadow across the frame

Care and Storage12 min

How Do You Clean and Store Bondage Gear?

The material decides everything. Fabric cuffs take a cool hand wash and a patient air dry, a silicone face over a metal core gets wiped and never submerged, and nothing returns to the box while any part of it is still damp.

EmmaOct 24

A woman in her 30s with natural curls and gold hoop earrings sits on the edge of a bright white bed, a tear track on her cheek, holding a bottle of Sliquid Massage Oil Unscented Natural Nut and Seed Blend 4.2oz up close in one hand with her other palm open and empty, quietly asking why sadness can follow sex, in soft window daylight

Real Talk13 min

Why Do I Feel Sad After Sex?

Postcoital dysphoria is the name for it, and nobody has established a cause. In the 2015 survey of 195 heterosexual Australian university women, the attachment measures the researchers took did not predict who experienced it. What you can shape is the stretch right after, and that is what aftercare is for.

EmmaOct 23

A Black man in his early 30s with a short beard, in a plain white t-shirt, holds a pair of pale-blue ribbed Biird Cuffii soft silicone handcuffs (listed as mint) out at arm's length in both hands, leaning back with wide, curious eyes as if reading them like instructions, staging the question of what healthy dominance is, in bright window light

Podcast Notes11 min

What Is Healthy Dominance?

Episode 508 of Shameless Sex argues dominance is a discipline of character before it is any technique. Reviewed here from its published notes, which name four topics without opening them, including the one about preparation that a reader could get hurt by.

EmmaOct 22

Sliquid Naturals H2O water-based intimate lubricant bottle, label facing out, in warm low sunlight against a plum and coral backdrop

Wellness Basics11 min

What's Actually in Your Water-Based Lube?

Water-based lube is water plus a handful of ingredients doing four jobs: holding the water, setting the body, keeping the bottle clean and placing the pH. Here is how to read your own label, what pH balanced is worth, and what the WHO and UNFPA specification says about osmolality.

EmmaOct 21

A woman in her mid 50s with silver-streaked hair looks down at a sage Dame Com rechargeable wand vibrator held at chest height, her other hand open and empty, calmly asking what to do after never having had an orgasm, in bright window light

Real Talk11 min

What To Do If You Have Never Had an Orgasm

About 10 to 15 percent of women have never had an orgasm, says MedlinePlus, and the clinical name for it is primary anorgasmia, whose definition also requires personal distress. Start at clitoral stimulation, move to learning what you need on your own, and take pain, a new medicine, hormonal change, or a nerve or pelvic condition to a clinician.

EmmaOct 20

The Dame Pom Flexible Palm Vibrator Ice standing upright in soft window light on a pale plum-tinted backdrop, a thin coral ribbon curling beside it

Guides8 min

What Should You Expect the First Time You Use a Sex Toy?

Arousal before the toy, lubricant before the first touch, and three sessions before you judge it. A first session that goes nowhere points at arousal, angle, or setting, well before it points at the toy.

EmmaOct 19

Fantasy X-Tensions Elite Uncut open-ended enhancement sleeve standing upright on a soft plum-tinted white backdrop in bright daylight, a sage leaf sprig blurred at the edge

Comparisons11 min

Penis Sleeve vs Penis Extender: How to Tell Which One You Want

A sleeve wraps the shaft and adds girth. An extender adds material past the tip and adds length. How to read the fit, the wall thickness and the material, when the label will not tell you.

EmmaOct 18

The Prowler RED Flexi douche bulb standing upright on white paper, its curved black nozzle catching one small highlight, with a warm coral shadow pooling at its base.

Care and Storage11 min

Do You Need to Douche Before Anal Sex?

No. Healthline calls anal douching a personal choice that is not necessary before anal sex, and Medical News Today agrees: it is a comfort decision, and neither page treats it as a requirement. If you choose to, the sourced version runs on saline, keeps the water below lukewarm, uses a bulb, and is not an everyday habit.

EmmaOct 17

Series worth following

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Field Notes

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