Toy care week: clean it, store it, keep it body-safe.

The xdipx Notebook

Welcome to The Notebook

Things worth knowing. Things worth trying. Things Emma dug up so you don't have to.

Add xdipx as a preferred source on Google →
AllCare and StorageComparisonsFor the BeginnersGuidesPodcast NotesReal TalkWellness BasicsGlossarySearch
A man in his 30s with dark hair, in a plain white t-shirt, sits on the edge of a plainly made bed in bright window light, holding a bottle of Intimate Earth Naked Fragrance-Free Aromatherapy Massage Oil 4oz loosely in one hand at chest height, eyes lowered to it, his other hand open and empty on his thigh, a quiet bewildered tenderness on his face as he works out what has changed between two people
Podcast Notes13 min

When Sexual Trauma Surfaces Years Into a Relationship

Some trauma symptoms arrive early. Some arrive years later, and there is a clinical name for those. Notes on Brave Love, Great Sex 565, from its published show notes and transcript, plus what the CDC reports on how common this is.

EmmaOct 29
A Black man in his early 30s with a short beard, in a plain white t-shirt, holds a pair of pale-blue ribbed Biird Cuffii soft silicone handcuffs (listed as mint) out at arm's length in both hands, leaning back with wide, curious eyes as if reading them like instructions, staging the question of what healthy dominance is, in bright window light
Podcast Notes11 min

What Is Healthy Dominance?

Episode 508 of Shameless Sex argues dominance is a discipline of character before it is any technique. Reviewed here from its published notes, which name four topics without opening them, including the one about preparation that a reader could get hurt by.

EmmaOct 22
A dark-haired woman in a soft grey sweatshirt holds a lilac biird Lumii clitoral suction stimulator up beside her face in one hand, head tilted and brow raised in a wry, searching look, while her other palm is open and empty beside her, asking whether it is normal to enjoy sex and not orgasm, in bright window light
Podcast Notes9 min

Is It Normal to Enjoy Sex and Not Orgasm?

Yes, and the distinction is the point: pleasure and orgasm are connected experiences that do not have to arrive together. Notes on The Sexology Podcast episode 512, reviewed from its published show notes, and when the difficulty is worth a provider's time.

EmmaOct 15
A woman with voluminous curly hair in a plain grey t-shirt stands in a bright white room, head tilted and brow raised, one hand open palm-up and the other resting at her shoulder, her gaze drifting to the side as if quietly asking whether it is just the two of them who stopped kissing
Podcast Notes8 min

Why Couples Stop Kissing (And How to Bring It Back)

Kissing goes quiet in a lot of settled relationships, and my read is that it got demoted to a warm-up for sex. Notes on Shameless Sex #506, plus three ways to give kissing back a slot of its own.

EmmaOct 8
Jade holds a pink FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet vibrator up at eye level in one hand, head tilted and brow raised in a quiet question, her other hand open palm-up, in a sunlit room
Podcast Notes8 min

Why Can You Orgasm Alone But Not With a Partner? What Changed After 30 Years of Faking It

Cleveland Clinic calls it situational anorgasmia: orgasm that arrives alone and not with a partner. Causes run both physical and psychological, so a real answer starts with a provider who specializes in sexual health. Notes on The Sexology Podcast 510 with Dr. Nazanin Moali.

EmmaOct 1
Vivian holds a bottle of Water-Based H2O Original Lubricant out at arm's length in both hands, mouth open on a word she's never said out loud before, laughing at her own nerve in a sunlit room.
Podcast Notes9 min

How Do You Talk Dirty Without Feeling Awkward? Start With One Word

Awkwardness is the entry fee. The step this episode puts first is rehearsing out loud, alone, before a partner ever hears it. Notes on Shameless Sex 504 with Dr. Shannon Chavez.

EmmaSep 24
Sofia holds up the wearable We-Vibe Sync Go in turquoise at eye level, brow furrowed mid-question, wondering aloud why she is always the one who reaches first.
Podcast Notes9 min

Why Am I Always the One Who Initiates Sex? What Two Therapists Call the Pursuer Role

Being the one who asks more is not a flaw. Notes on Foreplay Radio 561, where two therapists separate healthy pursuit from the rejection anxiety riding on top of it.

EmmaSep 17
Priya holds a bottle of Sliquid Massage Oil Unscented, a natural nut and seed blend in a 4.2oz bottle, turned to its plain copper-banded back at her chest with one hand, her free hand raised in a small shrug, brows lifted in the pause after asking a question about reaching for a partner without it feeling like pressure.
Podcast Notes11 min

How Do You Initiate Sex Without It Feeling Like Pressure?

Initiating sex turns into a test when a no costs something. Notes on Sex With Emily's five-step guide to initiation, and the one step everything else rests on.

EmmaSep 10
A woman in her fifties holds a small teal FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager out at arm's length in both hands, studying it with a wide-eyed, wry almost-smile in a sunlit room, like she is reading instructions in a language she almost knows.
Podcast Notes9 min

How Do You Get More Confident in Bed? Start With the Feeling You Want

Sexual confidence is not a technique problem. Two Somatica Institute sexologists on Shameless Sex 501 make the case that naming the feeling you want during sex, not buying a new toy, is the step that changes it.

EmmaSep 3
A man in his early 30s stands in a sunlit bedroom, eyebrows pinched in quiet self-doubt, holding up the We-Vibe Chorus, an adjustable couples vibrator with app control, at eye level while his other hand opens palm-up as if asking an unspoken question.
Podcast Notes9 min

How Long Should It Take to Finish? What Premature Ejaculation Actually Means

There is no correct duration for sex. What premature ejaculation describes is a persistent pattern you cannot delay, plus the distress it causes. A Sex Ed with DB listener asked for a number anyway. Reviewed below from the notes published with the episode: what separates a fast night from a persistent pattern, why the scorecard was the real problem, and where a product honestly belongs.

EmmaAug 27
An adult in her 30s holds up a Bedroom Commands couples card game in one hand, free hand open, wide-eyed and amused, in warm daylight against a plain paper ground.
Podcast Notes11 min

The Sex Questions People Are Too Embarrassed to Ask, Answered Honestly

A recent Sex With Emily episode collects the questions listeners were too shy to ask on stage and answers them one by one. Reviewed here from the full transcript: what Dr. Emily Morse gets right about opening up, asking for foreplay, the cuddle trap, and a curious first look at kink, plus the honest tools that fit each conversation.

EmmaAug 20
A woman sits in warm window light with a soft, relieved smile, her hands relaxed in her lap. On the nightstand beside her rests an open case holding the four-piece anal dilators borosilicate glass training set, compact and quiet in the corner of the frame, next to a glass of water and a folded towel.
Podcast Notes8 min

Does Anal Have to Hurt? What a Bottoming Educator Gets Right

No, and pain is a signal rather than a rite of passage. Shameless Sex episode 497 brings in bottoming educator Alex Hall for an hour of harm reduction: why dilators beat plugs for a beginner, why silicone lube is the anal default, and why numbing products are the shortcut to skip.

EmmaAug 13
12Next →

The Notebook, in your inbox.

One send, once-ish a week. Only the ones worth reading. Unsubscribe anytime, we're not needy.